Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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