Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
