I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
