so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
