And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize