I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
