Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
