It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
