Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
