the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
