Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize