Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
