We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
