I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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