This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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