we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Actions speak louder than pants.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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