Got a toothbrush?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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