I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize