PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
