Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
