I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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