4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
