i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
