it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Randomize
