i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
