We're facebook friends in real life
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
