There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize