well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
