I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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