My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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