your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
