Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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