Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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