you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
