Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
