i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
