i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
