I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
