my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
