There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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