i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
