did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
