Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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