we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
