they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
