I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
