I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
