I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
