ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I want you more than these girls want KFC
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
