Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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