I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
