How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
