Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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