I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
