apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
