it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
