The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
