I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize