I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its not stalking. its research.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
